I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
