Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
