Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize