I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
