my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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