Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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