so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Randomize
