roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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