I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
