Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey