I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"