Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.