Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.