my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
of course. lets lasso hookers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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