who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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