we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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