The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize