My hand turned me down
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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