i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
