Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
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Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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