Who did Billy Mays play for?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize