We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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