I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
