I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
