i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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