why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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