and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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