i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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