we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
