Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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