I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
