I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
