hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So vagazzling was a success
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
