do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
