just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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