i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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