As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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