Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
