Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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