So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He passed out mid-signature
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
