I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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