Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
