I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
