I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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