When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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