Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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