I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
