That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
