I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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