She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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