Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
