I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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