i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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