It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You made out with two different species that night
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
