I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
