I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize