When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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