I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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