i need an iv and a liver transplant
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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