Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Green mimosas i think yes
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
