I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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