I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize