So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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