Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
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