It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
