remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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