Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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