He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
