physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
