party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
