wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
