Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize