Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
