This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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