walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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