I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Your dad touched me again.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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